“Mahal, gising na, it’s Sunday, sasamba tayo,” she whispers into my ears. She repeats it again, now with a little shake on the shoulders, “Gising na, alam ko naman gising ka, let’s go, we’ll be late…”

“Ano yon….?” I drowsily ask. “Ay naku!, gising na, sasamba tayo!” my lovely wife quips back. ” I put myself up and pretend to go to the bathroom with a fake limp. She notices and immediately blurts out, “Tama ka na jan, luma na yan, maghanap ka ng bago!” You know guys that’s the problem with living with one person almost half of your life; she knows what you’re thinking, she reads your innermost secrets, and she knows if that’s a fake limp or not.

Image result for dog and church images cartoonOk sige na, I’ll just take a bath and fix up.” But before doing that, I checked up on Ms Goofy to see if she’s Ok and to say good morning. She was there now at the porch looking around. She rushed to me when she saw me coming. I Picked her up and kissed her on the forehead. “Goof, want to come, It’s Sunday?” She stared at me for awhile then glanced back at my wife who was readying herself, then probably anticipating that she might be forced to come to church, scampered somewhere into the living room. I just laughed her off thinking,“She’s a smart dog, much smarter than many of us.”

One thing I noticed when I entered the chapel was that big brown box missing in the center of the lobby. I subtly asked the deacon, “Saan na yong kahon?” “Wala na inalis na.” He whispered. “Bakit?” I added. He nodded which means he doesn’t know. Here in the Philippines, a nod can be interpreted in two ways – it’s either a “yes,” or “I don’t know.” So if you ask someone here, “Do you need to pee?” and he answers in a nod, that’s either a “yes” of he “doesn’t know.” Yup, more fun in the Philippines  🙂  .

And surprise of surprises, Wala na si Mat Pareha and his trumpet of trumpets shouting “Pinaka, pinaka, pinaka, lipulin, lipulin, lipulin!!!!”  Rather refreshing to hear our choir singing again. The opening prayer by the local minister and the start of the sermon on Pay-per-View by the King. Immediately after the sermon, the feed is cut off and the paglikom ng abuloy by our deacon and deaconesses. The offering prayer and the benediction by the local minister.

So they’ve finally come to their senses or is it because  – the money is small when it comes to that big bown box in the lobby compared to the deacon and deaconesses doing the rounds collecting the offerings? Or have they noticed that only few deacons and deaconesses come to their tupad during worship services because as they imply, there is nothing for them to do there. But you know friends, there is one other thing that they should remove in their Pay-per-views – the sermon itself. It is irrelevant. Irrelevant because the sermon was conducted not in your locale.  How do you address the brethren of a particular locale and say, “Huwag mong pabayaan ang mga kapatid naming ito – mga anak mong hirap na hirap sa buhay, may mga karamdaman at walang kakayahan magpagamot,” etc. etc. and the video link is shown at Bel-Air Makati. “Basbasan mo ang lokal na ito!” What does he mean by that, are we included or not. Rather confusing.

But wait, there’s more! A worship service held in one locale officiated by the King and that same service  shown on pay-per-view immediately the following Sunday in that same locale. How do you justify that? Pareho lang naman, dapat sumamba o hindi na? 

“Mula sa Sugo, and dating Tagapamahalang Pangkalahatan na si Kapatid na Erano Manalo, wala tayong binabagong tuntunin o aral. Ang Iglesia ni Cristo noon siya rin ang Iglesia ni Cristo ngayon!” says the King and of course echoed by his Knights of the crooked table.

Di Wala, sabi mo eh, hindi ba? 

Cartoon ID: toon-1957