joker[Newsflash: “Atty. Topacio admits ‘anomalies’ within Iglesia ni Cristo.” Check out link –

 http://m.kickerdaily.com/atty-topacio-admits-anomalies-within-iglesia-ni-cristo/

 Please also read the comments below the article. Very interesting. Especially from one ‘Mga Ulol’.  Maybe he should be taught a lesson from the Church Administration on good manners. To ‘Bem Pistan’, kudos.]


Good morning fellow brethren and friends alike! It’s a clear sunny morning  as I sit in our extended garden where I call my office.  A TV set where CNN keeps me company, some few lazy chairs and a Maltese (tiny dog) named Goofy who thinks she’s a Rottweiler barking at anything that moves and considers a threat to her beloved – that’s me.  That includes my wife.  She barks at her when she talks to me or even brings me coffee.  Physically trying to push my wife away with her tiny paws.

goof“Disiplinahin mo nga yan!,” cries out my son. My wife sternly warns Goofy, “Ayus-ayusin mo kilos mo ah, kabit ka lang, malapit ka ng lilipad!”

Chuckling, I just shrug off their comments and pick up Goof. “Ayan, ayan kunsintidor ang tatay,” utters my wife picking up a pail of water for her plants.  Goof keeps my spirits alive and actually serves in part as inspiration for my writing.  She reminds me of the Council, no brains or should I say small brains (smile) …


Our present chapel is one of the most beautiful and at one time even called the Mini-Templo.  But it wasn’t always. We used to conduct church services in a small house-converted chapel that could only accommodate around 100.  We had 12 services. 3 Wednesdays and 3 Thursdays; 3 Saturdays and 3 Sundays.  The Finance (Bilangan) and Prayer (Receiving) rooms were found behind the chapel.  So were the Dressing rooms for the Diakonesa’t Mang-aawit na babae.  However, the Diacono at lalaking Mang-aawit’s Dressing room was located in front of the chapel. Actually it wasn’t a room – more of a hut or shack – with galvanized sheets for the roof and surrounding walls and a plywood serving as a door. A 2 x 3m shack. This is where our story takes place.

We have an elder deacon (83 yrs. old) named Ka Juan and a not so young deacon we call Ka Bert (45 yrs. old).  Ka Juan has a prostate problem and always asks for Pagpapahid ng Langis after the church service and usually it is Ka Bert who does the anointing of oil.

It was one late afternoon after the church service when I noticed Ka Bert in deep thought.

“Anong problema Ka Bert, malalim-lalim ang iniisip mo,” I asked.

“Itong si Ka Juan.  Nagtataka ako bakit pag iba ang magpapahid ng langis  okay lang na ulo’t dibdib lang ang pahiran.  Kapag ako ang naatasan gusto niya buong katawan hubot hubad siya!”

I kidded and mused, “Type ka siguro.”

“Itsura kong ito, payat at kalbo pa, magkakagusto ang isang matandang malapit ng humalik sa lupa, malabo ata yon!”

“May karisma ka lang bro at sumasampalataya si Ka Juan na ikaw ang kasangkapan upang mapagaling siya sa karamdaman niya,” I reassured him.

“Biro mo kanina,” he started, “ako ang naatasan uling magpahid ng langis sa kanya.  Dahil maselan sinabi ko doon tayo sa dressing room magpapahid.  Kumuha ako ng langis, platito, at kapirsong tuwalya.  Tumuloy kami sa dressing room sa harap ng kapilya.  Pumasok kami pareho at sinara namin ang pinto.  Nakatalikod siya sa pinto. Nanalangin kami tapos sinimulan ko ang pagpapahid.”

“Kapatid na Juan pinapahid ko ang langis na ito, kaawan ka ng Diyos na ikaw ay gumaling.  Sumagot siya ng Amen.”

“Buong katawan sabi sa akin ni Ka Juan,” then he starts to strip off his barong and T-shirt.

“Sinimulan ko ang pagpapahid.  Ulo muna, tapos sa gawing braso at dibdib,” Ka Bert demonstrating elaborately in full detail how he’d been conducting the pagpapahid.

“Pagkatapos ng ulo at dibdib, tinanggal niya ang sinturon at binaba niyang sabay ang pantalon at brief niya hanggang sa tuhod.” (I was restraining myself from laughing now.)

laughing“Siyempre, para mapahiran ko ang gawing baba niya lumuhod ako sa harap niya at sinimulan ko ang pagpapahid. Tamang-tama naman hawak-hawak ko ang magkabilang balakang ni Ka Juan, ito biglang bumukas ang pinto – may maagang mang-aawit na bibihis.  Nang makita kami sa ganong ayos bigla niya muling sinara ang pinto at mabilis na umalis.  Tulala kami ni Ka Juan!“

Need I say more?